everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
