Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
