so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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