Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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