It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
