4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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