I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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