do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
