I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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