Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
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It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
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Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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