I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Couch. On fire.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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