remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
