I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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