It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
