It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Hippo gnu deer
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
