Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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