No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
