woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
