Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
