I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
not ubering you a puppy
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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