And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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