I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
