I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
