I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
