Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
