i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
