whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
