I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
