just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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