my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
