So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
