i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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