So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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