at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
