Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
