I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
