The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
