come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
