TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
