Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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