I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
