I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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