and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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