i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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