its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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