I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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