We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
