the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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