I think i peed on brittanys purse
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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