oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Dating After Heartbreak
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.