Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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