Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now