He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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