i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything