i already hear my dad disowning me
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
