so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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