if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
