I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You can't just leave with hair like that
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
